More reviews

Major Giles Brandon-Forbes-Smythe writes: It's all very well one reviewer telling us how wonderful you are, but for all we know that reviewer could be your Aunt Mildred writing from her cell in the asylum. Pull yourself together, man, and give us some more reviews to look at.

Brian replies: I understand, Major; Aunt Mildred does do such things unless electrified twice a week. But worry no more, for two other reviews of me have now arisen, both, I'm happy to say, positive. The first is an amazon.com review which all the world can read here:

amazon.com

The second is in issue 22 of the UK Horror magazine Black Static. To read the full review you'd have to buy a copy of Black Static, but to give you a taster here's an idea of what was said:

: "…the gentle humour that informs this work, the self-mocking way the characters have about them and the beguiling prose with which Pirie captures their actions and attitudes." and "…you marvel at Pirie's ingenuity and his ability to continually find some phrasing that will put a smile on the most curmudgeonly of faces…"

TTA Press

Amazon

Mrs Jones from Clapham writes: Brian, I was perusing the pages of Amazon.com the other day and it gave me a right laugh to see that no one, not a single person, has bothered to post any kind of review of you. I love it when smarmy books like you fall flat on your covers, because that's the kind of person I am.

Brian says: Yes, Mrs Jones, you clearly are an obnoxious windbag of the first order. But I've got news for you, because if you look now you'll see a glowing customer review posted only today. So, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Amazon.com

A First Review

Mrs Basingstoke, from Basingstoke, writes: Brian, why are there no reviews posted anywhere to tell me if you're any good or not? I'm the type of person easily swayed by others' views, and it concerns me I can't form an opinion about you if there're no reviews for me to look at.

Brian answers: Well, Mrs Basingstoke, it just so happens that a review by Carey Gates has been posted at The Future Fire website in which Carey describes me as: "…a charming and entertaining read."

Future Fire

And seeing as you're easily swayed by others' views, Mrs Basingstoke, it's my view you should send me all the cash you no doubt have stashed away in a teapot somewhere!

Only joking; just buy me and I'll be a happy bunny all day.

Happy New Year!

Another year ended!

Of course, seeing as I'm barely two weeks old, I don't really know what that means. But even though my ink is still damp, there've been kind people saying nice things about me and my predecessor, Donald. Brings a tear to my eye, it does.

So, I wish you a wonderful 2011. May all your dreams come true…

Merry Christmas

Mrs Peterson from Stoke on Trent writes: I know you're only an inanimate book, Brian, but I'm as mad as a muffin, so I'd like to wish you all the good will of the season.

Brian writes: Yes, Mrs Peterson, you clearly are a bit touched. But a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, anyway. And the same to all my readers wherever you are. Here's hoping 2011 is everything you want it to be.

Preview, anyone?

Mrs Dawson from Aberdeen writes: Brian, I'm a terrible cheapskate, and I couldn't possibly consider buying you without first reading your opening thirty or so pages. Is there anywhere I can have a preview of what you're about?

Brian answers: Yes, Mrs Dawson, you clearly are a tight-fisted Trollope of the worst sort. However, I did anticipate people like you would show up, and I have indeed posted the first thirty or so of my pages for your perusal at www.stevenpirie.com. Click on the 'Burying Brian' link to find them.

I think, therefore I am...

I'm here at last. This is me, front and back: handsome devil, eh?

I'm published by Immanion Press on the 14th of December, 2010.